Chapter 3: Operation Apology — Defeat at the Start

I crouched on the chair with my knees pulled up, towel loosely wrapped around my head.

I was wearing plain long sleeves and pants—

The wardrobe, unexpectedly, didn’t have a single skirt.

(Not that I’m interested or anything. Just… curious.)

On the desk was a bowl of instant noodles, lightly seasoned with soy sauce and topped with some greens.

It was a bit late for lunch, but hunger won over timing.

Still unwilling to give up, I stared again at the data on my laptop screen while silently chewing.

This world was only subtly different from the one before I transmigrated—

I was trying to find what had caused me to become a girl.

“Sparse and mundane existence… appears randomly… extremely rare…”

Looks like the issue lies with this inexplicable cat girl thing.

Ears. Tail. Tongue. Eye color…

Aside from these physiological differences, cat girls weren’t much different from normal humans.

As the one who became a cat girl, I had been quite  curious about the mysteries of this body at first.

But it took me two whole hours just to shower.

My phone ended up soaked from constantly unlocking it and looking up stuff like how to wash long hair.

The worst part was figuring out how to clean the tail and cat ears.

They were hard to control—

probably because I wasn’t used to this newly feminized body yet.

Eventually, after a lot of effort and trembling from the ticklish sensations,

I managed to wipe down the tail with a towel and keep it from swaying everywhere.

I scrolled through the mouse wheel, forcing myself to study the data for a few more minutes, then slumped back, bored and drained.

To be honest…

Whether I transmigrated or not, whether I was a guy or a girl—

None of that really made much difference to me.

I had no grand dreams for the future, and whatever I cherished about the past was fading with Gu Fan’s death.

Now, I’ve unexpectedly gained three more years—

Isn’t that a good thing? A second chance to make up for my mistakes?

Clicking idly, I found myself on a Q&A site without even noticing.

A bold headline caught my eye, and my heart gave a solid thump.

 “How do I apologize to a friend?”

Click-clack, click-clack.

I typed out a short post.

As I scrolled through the highly-up voted answers, they all basically said the same thing:

Take initiative, be sincere, and tailor your approach to what the other person likes.

In truth, I was just using these posts to gather some courage—

Because what I lacked most right now was the initiative to face them.

Besides growing up together, did I even have any other advantage I could rely on?

I closed my eyes, trying hard to think of something good about myself.

Meanwhile, the tail coiled around my waist kept swishing back and forth, rustling softly.

“Mm… oh, right. I’m a catgirl now.”

I reached up and gently squeezed the two soft ears on my head, then glanced down at the very noticeable rise on my chest.

With a slight sigh, I typed into the search bar:

 “How to apologize to a male friend… as a girl.”

 “Tch—eh? Ah…”

Did I just… make a weird sound?

But seriously, acting cutesy…

That kind of thing is so humiliating.

I stared at the answers piling up on the screen.

They described all kinds of flirty poses and whiny voices.

I imagined myself wagging my cat tail while pouting apologetically at Gu Fan—

and immediately wanted to dive under the blankets and roll around in second-hand embarrassment.

To hide my crumbling nerves, I turned my attention back to the half-eaten noodles.

Propping my cheek with my left hand, I picked up a few limp strands with my chopsticks.

Slurp, slurp~

 “Can’t finish it…”

Forget it. I’ll leave the rest for dinner.

Wrapped it with plastic wrap and shoved it into the fridge.

Lunch handled.

Now for the real challenge—

I needed to go to Gu Fan’s place and apologize.

I leaned back against the fridge door.

The cold seeped through my shirt and pressed gently into my back.

No matter how I tried to justify it, I couldn’t talk my way out of the fact that I’d acted horribly on the bus.

No choice.

I had to face it: I’d been drunk and out of control.

I couldn’t find a better excuse.

And playing the cutesy card? Totally out of the question.

Straightening up, the coolness trailing down my spine made me shiver.

Just before heading out, I grabbed my backpack from the entryway.

Let’s use “studying together” as an excuse for now.

Gu Fan was one of the top-tier students in school, and someone like me—an average scorer—asking him for tutoring wouldn’t be too weird, right?

*****

Gu Fan… he was feeding cats.

Right near the flower beds by his house.

I hid behind a large banyan tree some distance away, peeking at Gu Fan crouched on a cobblestone path.

A tiny tabby kitten lay beside his foot, belly-up and meowing softly.

I’d seen scenes like this plenty of times when we were kids.

Gu Fan had always liked cats.

He even kept a pouch of cat food in his school bag.

Maybe it was because he fed them so often, but he always had a faint scent of cats on him—and they adored him for it.

As for me?

I was the complete opposite.

I was gentle too!

So why is it that kittens could fall asleep purring in Gu Fan’s arms,but the moment they saw me, they’d hiss and swat like I was trying to steal his affection?

Come to think of it…

Aside from the ears and the tail—being a catgirl didn’t seem to help my relationship with cats at all.

Come to think of it, aside from the ears and tail,

being a catgirl didn’t really make me feel much like a cat.

It’s not quite the right word, but—it felt more like the real world accidentally loaded a bizarre mod.

Well… I never planned on being a scientist.

No point overthinking it.

Might as well focus on how to actually talk to Gu Fan.

The kitten, now full, rolled over, stretched its little, white-gloved paws, and trotted off.

Gu Fan straightened up and turned toward his house.

Ahhh! This is it.

Now’s my chance to strike up a conversation!

Whether it was excitement or just nerves, I started pacing in place like I was trying to hype myself up—but not a single step moved me forward.

 “Uwah—!”

I had been muttering encouragement to myself so many times,it was like I needed someone to just shove me from behind already.

With a little yelp, I finally lunged forward—and tripped on my own tail.

 “Oww…”

God, that hurt.

Luckily, I landed on a soft patch of grass,so I didn’t end up scraped or bruised.

By the time I recovered and looked around again—Gu Fan was gone.

Which meant… I’d have to go to his house now.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. I can do this…”

I’d gone with Gu Fan to visit other classmates’ homes back in elementary school, but ever since our falling out, I hadn’t gone to anyone’s house alone.

Not to mention, my home situation was always kind of… complicated.

I didn’t even have relatives to visit.

Maybe that’s why this felt so much scarier than it should’ve.

Still, before I knew it, I was already in front of Gu Fan’s door.

There were some cute pig stickers around the doorbell—probably put there by his mom.

 “Okay. Count down. Then press it.”

I clenched my hand into a fist and held it to my chest,

chanting the numbers silently in my head.

 “Three… two… one—”

My finger hovered over the button, just about to press—

And the door suddenly opened on its own.

Gu Fan flinched, clearly not expecting to see anyone.

He had been heading out, and now stared at me with wide, startled eyes.

 “Zhi Nian? What are you doing here?”

“Ah! Um—sorry for showing up out of nowhere! I, uh, came to apologize for the thing on the bus because—”

—Or at least, that’s what the fantasy version of me would’ve said.

Sincere. Clear. Calm.

 “Uwahhh…”

In reality?

I was still frozen in shock from Gu Fan’s unexpected appearance, stammering nonsense with absolutely no direction.

My vision was practically doing little spirals.

Dammit!

I had finally scraped together enough courage, only for it all to go poof in the first second.

Operation Apology had already fallen apart the moment I laid eyes on Gu Fan.