Liang Jiugong clutched his aching side, on the verge of tears.
“Your Majesty… Your servant Liang Jiugong is here to serve you!”
Where on earth was he supposed to find another ‘him’ for the Emperor?
Seeing the Emperor’s stern gaze, Liang Jiugong was sweating profusely in panic when a sudden flash of inspiration struck him.
He remembered the last time His Majesty had been drunk.
He slapped his thigh, straightened his back, and leaned forward slightly.
“Your Majesty, Miss Fang He is still in Cining Palace.”
Kangxi still ignored his words, his gaze sweeping past him, lingering on the sword on the wall, and then slowly turning back to Liang Jiugong.
Liang Jiugong took a deep breath, scrambled to his feet, and dashed out.
“Your servant will go and fetch Liang Jiugong for you!”
This was going to be the death of him!
Previously, he had thought that summoning that little ancestor back was Advisor Gu’s responsibility and had even laughed about it in his room for a long time.
But now, it has become his problem.
This was like being struck by lightning, out of nowhere, a complete disaster!
If he didn’t summon her, who knew if the Emperor, in his drunken rage, would really chop off his head.
But summoning her…
How was he supposed to move the ancestor from Cining Palace to Qianqing Palace in the middle of the night?
Liang Jiugong steeled his heart, called Li Dequan to serve the Emperor, and hurried out, whispering towards the roof of Zhaoren Hall as if he were slaughtering a chicken.
“Gentlemen! I know you’re there!”
“His Majesty wants to see Miss Fang He now. If I go to fetch her, it’ll be dawn by the time we get back. There’s no time!”
“You’ve heard the commotion inside. You gentlemen weigh the consequences. Can you afford to take the blame?”
“As long as you quickly bring that ancestor over, I’ll take full responsibility for any repercussions with Cining Palace and the Emperor. Otherwise, when the time comes for questioning, I’ll have to drag you all down with me…”
The two guards on duty tonight exchanged uncertain glances from behind the eaves.
Coincidentally, one of them was an old acquaintance of Fang He.
Her ‘night-soil husband’ had personally witnessed Fang He shouting and even… behaving rudely in front of the Emperor without facing any punishment.
Wasn’t this a favor?
What if His Majesty was just pretending to be drunk to bring her back, and they failed to recognize the situation?
Even if the Emperor didn’t punish them now, it might still affect their future prospects.
The ‘night-soil husband’ gritted his teeth, jumped down from an inconspicuous corner of the eaves, and quickly approached.
“All gates are locked. We have no access to the inner palace. Moving around without permission is punishable by death.”
Liang Jiugong breathed a sigh of relief.
It was easy because he had the access token!
He quickly took out his own token and handed it to the guard, watching as the man swiftly headed towards Yuehua Gate.
But he still couldn’t relax.
Summoning Fang He was no longer the issue, but was Cining Palace so easy to breach?
Not to mention the risk of being discovered by the patrolling guards near Cining Palace, what if, when it was time to rise, Fang He was found missing from Cining Palace?
If it came to light that she had been summoned to the Emperor’s presence in the middle of the night, what if the Empress Dowager got angry?
At best, it would be seen as the servants making a mountain out of a molehill.
At worst, it would be seen as the Emperor being unfilial, ordering a late-night intrusion into the palace.
If anything happened to the Empress Dowager, he and the guards would lose their heads.
Fine.
Liang Jiugong grimaced, pinched his thigh hard, hissed in pain, gritted his teeth, and stomped his foot before heading to Advisor Gu’s residence.
After nearly twenty years of rivalry with that old fox, he finally had to yield.
If he had known it would come to this, he wouldn’t have bothered competing in the first place!
But he didn’t have that much face with the Empress Dowager.
The only one who could resolve this was Advisor Gu, whom even the Empress Dowager held in high regard.
Advisor Gu had recently returned from the south, where he had been carrying out the Emperor’s decree with Cao Xi and Cao Yin regarding the salt monopoly.
He had only been back for a few days.
The Emperor hadn’t been flipping the concubine plaques these past few days, so Advisor Gu didn’t have to stay up late.
Finally able to get a full night’s sleep, when Liang Jiugong woke him up, even though he usually didn’t bother with such things, he was ready to give Liang Jiugong a good beating.
“What couldn’t wait until morning?Did His Majesty summon a concubine to serve him?”
Wasn’t he drunk?
Although he was a eunuch, Advisor Gu understood a man’s ways.
After drinking so much, there was no way the Emperor could perform.
Unless he was so dizzy he just wanted someone to admire the scenery with him?
Liang Jiugong forced a bitter smile, quickly explained the situation, and bowed to Advisor Gu.
“I really have no choice. If the Empress Dowager is disturbed, even if I were a cat demon with nine lives, it wouldn’t be enough to atone.”
“But after vomiting, His Majesty needs to drink some water and rest properly. He refuses to let anyone serve him.”
“I’m truly worried about His Majesty’s health and had no choice but to… beg Advisor Gu to think of a solution. We absolutely must not disturb the Empress Dowager.”
Advisor Gu rolled his eyes,
“Was this really worth waking me up in the middle of the night?”
“You already said His Majesty is unwell. You should have coordinated with Imperial Physician Qin, pick a capable servant, and send them to Cining Palace to apologize. Can’t you do that?”
“As servants, our most important duty is the Emperor’s well-being. Last time, wasn’t it Fang He who served? Don’t you understand the principle of acting according to the situation?”
He almost threw the word ‘stupid’ in Liang Jiugong’s face.
But Liang Jiugong didn’t care, smiling obsequiously at Advisor Gu,
“Ah, I was just so worried about His Majesty’s discomfort that I panicked. In front of the Emperor, it’s always best to have Advisor Gu oversee things.”
“Who am I, after all? If I say the wrong thing and the Empress Dowager thinks I’m being cunning and misunderstands His Majesty, that would be bad. Advisor Gu, you…”
Advisor Gu: “….”
Oh, so he wasn’t just asking for advice he was looking for someone to take the fall.
He pinched the bridge of his nose, pointing at the door, “You…”
Liang Jiugong chuckled and finished the sentence,
“I’ll leave, I’ll leave. I’ll go take good care of His Majesty and send a clever maid to wait on you.”
Ruthless.
After Liang Jiugong left, Advisor Gu cursed a couple of times and shook his head.
If nothing else, Liang Jiugong’s ability to read the situation was commendable.
No wonder the Emperor had promoted him.
Being older, once he was awake, he couldn’t fall back asleep.
After some thought, he got up and went to find Qiao Cheng.
Even if he had the face, he still had to fulfill his filial duties to the Empress Dowager on behalf of the Emperor.
He needed to open the treasury and take out some good items.
With that worry off his mind, Liang Jiugong patted his butt and returned to the Emperor’s presence.
***
Meanwhile, in the side room of Cining Palace, Fang He was even more distraught than Advisor Gu.
Anyone who was suddenly awakened in the middle of the night, with their mouth covered, and whispered ‘it’s me, would be scared out of their wits.
Who the hell are you, and what do you want!
She sat up, clutching her pounding chest, and by the light of the other person’s fire starter, she recognized him as an acquaintance.
She regretted not kicking him harder last time.
She had never been so speechless.
“If you’re so brave, why don’t you just fly up to the heavens instead of sneaking into Cining Palace in the middle of the night!”
The guard choked for a moment, then said succinctly,
“His Majesty wants to see you. Please come with me.”
Fang He: “……”
What?
What kind of emperor breaks into his grandmother’s palace in the middle of the night just to see a maid?
Why hadn’t he been so eager in the past few days?
She wished she could knock herself unconscious.
“Can’t we wait until tomorrow and inform the Empress Dowager…”
The guard calmly interrupted her protest,
“His Majesty is drunk and needs you to serve him.”
Fang He: “……”
Did they also prepare some wine for her?
She took a deep breath, suppressing her anger, and turned her body slightly.
“You, get out!”
The guard didn’t move.
Fang He sneered,
“What, are you addicted to being a night-soil collector? Do you want to watch me get dressed?”
The guard touched his nose, quickly turned around, and stood at the door.
By the time Fang He had changed her clothes and was on her way to Qianqing Palace, all her anger had been jostled out of her.
She was filled with cold wind, making her increasingly numb.
She had thought that the guard’s nighttime infiltration of the palace would be like a martial arts movie set in the imperial court-scaling walls, using qinggong, and generally being impressive.
But… the guard didn’t even climb any walls.
He just used the access token to go through the side gate.
When he carried her and ran, there was no qinggong involved.
He ran so fast that he nearly shook her dinner out of her.
Movies are such liars, zero stars!
When they finally landed in a corner of Zhaoren Hall, Fang He saw Liang Jiugong and didn’t even bother with social niceties.
She stared at him with a blank expression, dead fish eyes, and didn’t say a word.
The fact that she didn’t scratch Liang Jiugong’s face was a testament to her moral standards reaching new heights.
Liang Jiugong was on the verge of losing his mind.
The Emperor refused to sleep, and he didn’t dare enter the hall to serve, fearing that if His Majesty saw him, he might just slash him with the sword.
Seeing Fang He’s cold expression, he understood her temper well.
Without a word, he stuffed a pouch into her hand.
“Thank you for coming, Miss. His Majesty vomited, and the imperial physician said he should drink some calming tea and rest. But His Majesty won’t let us near him, so we have to trouble you.”
Fang He numbly opened the pouch.
She had used all her strength to keep herself from cursing, so how could she have any energy left to serve a drunkard?
Wow!
A five-hundred-tael silver note!
Okay, maybe she had a little energy left.
Fang He’s icy demeanor melted like the first snow.
She forced a smile at Liang Jiugong and took the calming tea from Ranxia’s hands.
“All I have to do is serve His Majesty the tea?”
Liang Jiugong nodded with a smile,
“It’s late. After serving the tea, please help His Majesty sleep. If you need anything, just ask. I’ll be right here!”
Fang He muttered to herself as she entered the hall,
“You’re always here, and it hasn’t stopped you from screwing others over!”
The moment she stepped into the west warm chamber, Kangxi, dressed in bright yellow inner robes, sitting solemnly on the dragon bed, immediately looked over with sharp eyes.
Though he was said to be drunk, apart from the faint scent of alcohol and ambergris in the air, there was no sign of intoxication.
In fact, he seemed more alert than the last time.
She carefully approached with the tea, but before she could speak, Kangxi preempted her—
“What are you doing here?”
“Your Majesty, would you like some tea?”
Fang He smiled.
She would rather be in her dreams, but these bastards didn’t give her the chance.
Kangxi frowned, ignoring her, and continued,
“Who told you to come here?”
His voice, though slightly slower, wasn’t slurred.
Fang He didn’t dare to be careless and answered calmly.
“Your Majesty, the guard summoned me. As for who gave the order, I don’t know… Would Your Majesty like some tea?”
Probably some fool who didn’t know what they were doing.
Kangxi snorted coldly,
“If no one summoned you, would you be so happy in Cining Palace that you’d forget about me?”
Fang He had no intention of arguing with a drunkard.
Holding the teacup, she said gently,
“Your Majesty, please have some tea…”
Kangxi waved his hand impatiently,
“How dare I drink the tea you serve? You’d probably be happy to see me dead.”
Fang He was puzzled.
She hadn’t poisoned the tea.
If he didn’t dare to drink it, why did he summon her?
To throw it at him again?
But Kangxi’s sarcasm didn’t stop there,
“Since you don’t want to serve me, you can go back to Cining Palace, or even Shoukang Palace. Do you really think I can’t do without you?”
“I refuse to believe that without you, Fang the Butcher, I can’t eat a pig with its hair still on…”
Fang He: “……”
This man and Yongzheng were definitely father and son.
Once they started rambling, even Tang Sanzang would have to bow down.
Right?
She calmly placed the tea on a nearby stool, prepared to listen to this drunkard ramble until dawn.
After all, she had been through this before.
This time, she promised herself she wouldn’t act impulsively.
One encounter with poisoned wine was enough.
She still needed to keep her life intact to leave the palace.
Seeing her silent, Kangxi grew angrier and sneered repeatedly,
“With the Empress Dowager and the Empress backing you, you don’t even know how to respond now, do you?”
“Get out! I don’t want to see you!”
Huh?
After all that, this was the only thing that made sense.
Fang He’s eyes lit up slightly, and she bowed respectfully,
“Your servant obeys Your Majesty’s command. Your servant takes her leave!”
She didn’t give Kangxi a chance to react, quickly backing away with her head down, then turned and rushed out.
As long as she ran fast enough, with Kangxi being the type of emperor who valued face, he wouldn’t go back on his word…
“Wait!”
Kangxi suddenly spoke as she was about to leave.
This scene was all too familiar.
Fang He felt as if she heard a ‘slap’ in the air, though she wasn’t sure whose face it had hit.
Her own face seemed to sting.
Not daring to truly defy the man who held power over life and death, Fang He sighed silently, swallowing her reluctance, and slowly walked back.
“Your Majesty, what are your orders?”
Kangxi slowly stood up and extended his hand,
“Help me change.”
Fang He: “……”
What is it with emperors always wanting maids to help them with their bathroom needs?!
She held her breath, gritted her teeth, and stepped forward.
Immediately, a heavier force than last time pressed down on her, nearly causing her to fall sideways.
Kangxi grabbed her shoulder to steady them both, and without looking up, she could hear his disdain.
“You don’t seem to eat less, yet you only grow fat and not strength. You…”
Fang He cut him off, forcing a smile,
“Yes, yes, I’ve wasted Your Majesty’s monthly allowance and food. I’ll go eat someone else’s food from now on, so Your Majesty won’t have to spend anymore.”
Kangxi snorted,
“Dream on. As long as you’re in Qianqing Palace, you’ll stay in Qianqing Palace. With your small frame, I can still afford to feed you.”
Fang He smiled politely, silently and fairly cursing the ancestors of the Aisin Gioro family once more.
Once in the bathroom, this time without Kangxi’s reminder, she quickly wet a towel, helped Kangxi clean his hands, and respectfully turned around, waiting for Kangxi to finish.
But this time, there was no sound of water.
She patiently asked,
“Your servant has her eyes closed. I won’t look at anything I shouldn’t. If Your Majesty needs, I can whistle for you.”
Kangxi:
“…Get out! I’ll call you when I need you.”
Fang He pouted, obediently leaving.
Who wanted to listen to him pee anyway?
When she was called back in, Fang He had already prepared the towel and respectfully handed it over.
Her sharp eyes watched Kangxi’s movements, and as soon as he finished, she quickly took the towel back, avoiding any splashes from the basin.
Once they were out of the bathroom, Fang He was drenched in sweat.
She finally managed to help Kangxi back to the dragon bed.
Without Kangxi speaking, Fang He thoughtfully asked,
“Your Majesty, are you thirsty? Hungry? Should I have someone bring you something easy to digest?”